My calling forward

I’ve been thinking about if this blog should have a focus to it. Should it be more like a diary of my life? An update on my professional progress? I believe those two are intertwined, and just lead to my contemplation on life.

This past week travelled to Denver for a board retreat for More Light Presbyterians. It is the first time ever traveling for work. I was also the youngest there by far; me being twenty-two and no one else being younger than thirty.

It was really interesting to see the inner working of a non-profit: how the power is balanced, the bureaucracy of structure, the balance of mission and finances. All of it. But the beautiful part was being able to see all these personalities (and strong ones at that) work towards a common goal. Work for something bigger than themselves, laying the ground work for change that, in some ways, they may never see in their lifetime. They each care about the world so much they are using their gifts to make life better for others. It was beautiful to see how tension, when in the right context and purposeful community, strengthened connection.

Many of these people have also become family. MY people that I have chosen. I guess that is what happens when in service of something bigger than yourself, huh?

It was beautiful. The sun rising on a new era of my life…with that came a lot of grief.

It was one of the first times I realized what phase of my life I am headed towards, and what I am leaving behind. That a seismic shift is happening in my life that requires maturity, and discipline, and a respect to the power I have to enact change. I will have to leave behind adolescence, and selfishness, and excuses, and mediocrity.

For a long time people have told me I have a calling. I have felt it for as long as I remember. I feel the time has come for me to live into that fully and freely, and listen to where God is calling me to use my gifts.